Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number?? “The Lover”

This week I read the book “The Lover” by Marguerite Duras. It was a little confusing as the POVs do switch from first-person to third-person quite often throughout the book. For example, in the beginning of the novel, we read about her experience on the boat and then all of a sudden we find out she has a son when she says “I found a photograph of my son when he was twenty”. Furthermore, before really getting to know who her parents and who her brothers were, we instantly discover that her her younger brother died of bronchial pneumonia and then later, she left her mother. I found it was quite hard to empathize with her in this moment as we don’t know her or her family too well to feel sorry for her. It’s possible that the author deliberately used this narrative choice to present the narrator as a vulnerable young woman, surrounded by loss and loneliness.

Furthermore already in the beginning of the novel, we are made clear that the narrator, (while we don’t know her name?) is a “white girl” and this is pretty much the first characteristic we know of her besides that she gets told she has beautiful hair. Once we meet this “lover” of hers, we also find out that he is a Chinese man, and we don’t know his name either. This shows how their ethnicity becomes the primal factor defining them, even though they don’t necessarily discuss their race with each other, it is what the author makes clear to the reader.

Some of the vocabulary in this book definitely made me uncomfortable. When it’s their first time getting more intimate, and when it’s her first time entering his place, she mentions “it’s dark in the studio, but she doesn’t ask him to open the shutters. She doesn’t feel anything in particular, no hate, no repugnance either, so probably it’s already desire.” I feel so sorry for this young 15 year old girl who doesn’t know what to feel when it comes to relationships and almost tricks herself to believe that what she should be feeling when she’s with a man is desire. Further, she goes on to say that this is “where she has to be, placed here”. A book this kind of reminds me of, even though I haven’t read it, is Lolita. They both explore themes of power dynamics, manipulation (as the narrator in this book is getting help financially from him by doing certain things for him) and control within relationships. However, the difference between these books, which I find interesting, is the unique narrative structures. “Lolita” is narrated by Humbert Humbert, providing readers with insight into his distorted perspective and justifications for his actions whereas “The Lover”is narrated from the perspective of the protagonist, which offers a firsthand perspective of her experiences and emotions.

Overall, it is never really clear if the narrator loves him back or if she just desires him for his money. She doesn’t really acknowledge him in public as well, as she tends to follow her abusive older brother’s lead. Later on in the novel, they are pressured to break contact by both their families and she sets to leave for France. Overall, I don’t really know how to feel about this book as I can understand what the author is trying to convey and write about, however, the very much obvious age gap in this relationship is something that is hard to ignore.

What are your thoughts on the portrayal of the relationship in “The Lover?” How does the novel depict the complexities of power dynamics, societal expectations, and racial dynamics?